“It torments the young and terrorizes the old.”
That’s the opening line of a front page article in today’s Washington Post about loneliness.
It’s considered, according to this piece, to be a public health hazard: no, a “SERIOUS public health hazard.”
Scientists say they have identified links between loneliness and illness. They go so far as to say that” social isolation changes the human genome in profound, long-lasting ways.”
So I’m asking, what’s a cancer care giver/ survivor to do when you find yourself alone after losing a loved one? What do you do when the “two” turns into a “one” not because you wanted it that way, but because a horrible disease broke that “two” into pieces?
Now you tell us not only are we left to pick-up the pieces, tidy up what was left behind and neatly fold it away in a memory box of some sort, but along the way, be sure we quickly find new ways to fill the void, “be social,” because our genome is changing and it’s sending us down the path of poor health and an early grave.
Loneliness: a byproduct of cancer’s wrath is now a lot scarier than we ever imagined.
February 5, 2016 @ 9:11 am
The emptiness and silence of my house is in some ways comforting and in some debilitating. I am alone with my memories and this old house has provided so many to draw upon and I am grateful. It also reminds me that what was is no longer.
I have committed myself to look outside my personal sorrow and to do for others who are in need. Opportunities abound if we only look around. Through my service to others, I have learned that each has a story; each has or had trials and tribulations; each has suffered loss and pain. But through it all, they persevere with mostly a positive outlook. They often are trying to serve others in need and so draw strength for themselves. It is a continuum. The more I serve and try to help others, the more I am helped.
When I come home, the empty house is still here. I know from my encounters with others that I am not alone in suffering the pain of loss. We can choose how we deal with the death and loss of a loved one. I choose to honor her memory through the strength I receive from serving others.
February 4, 2016 @ 6:13 am
I never really knew the difference between being ALONE or being LONELY………still lifting….
February 5, 2016 @ 5:32 pm
Hellooooo Sasha and welcome back to our house!!
Great to “see” you here..glad to know you are still lurking and love that you have connected with us.
We are “LIFTING” back…
And Al…you are so right..there are many ways to work around the loneliness and it helps a lot, but turning that key, knowing there will be no “Welcome home” on the other side of the door is something we all have to face. It is hard.
L
February 2, 2016 @ 9:29 am
It has been mentioned before, but the feeling that the rest of the world is going along just fine while you are almost frozen in grief can be very debilitating. And well meaning people can drive people away with careless remarks. A person in our church refuses to return now that his wife has died because of such remarks.
February 2, 2016 @ 6:30 am
It can be an awful feeling no matter if you are a very social person or an introvert. I could never be considered a social butterfly and I truly thought I could handle the loneliness better than I did after losing Jim. There were times when I truly relished not having to put on a happy face but I learned the phrase about silence being deafening is very real. Unfortunately one can be lonely in a crowded room.