If I charted his course from July of 2015 to today, seven months since diagnosis, the line would hardly show anything but a steady decline.

Oh sure, there were a couple of weeks in there where when he was home, feeling a little better and even when he was in the hospital, he managed to walk down the hall, have a smile on his face, listen to his rock and roll and talk sports.  But a couple of weeks isn’t enough to use the word remission.  He never went into remission.  His chemo worked for a heartbeat, then it was clear the cancer would be in control of his life.

When and now,  its progressed to the point of heartbreak for me to see him so uncomfortable, I just want to scream.

It’s so wrong.  This is such a good man.

I mean, I know in my head and heart, that cancer is still a killer of good men.  There may be so many new ways to stop this disease, or at least put it in a box for a while, but on the flip side, there are still so many cancers that can’t be detained.

And I’m struggling;  do I want my friend to keep on fighting for ‘quantity’ of life or do I want him to return home, be comfortable, feel the love of his family and friends around him and live out his days in peace? I don’t want his cancer to have such a tight grip on him that he’ll fight, but suffer too.

I see the chart line.  It’s bending downward and it will until it ends.

 

 

 

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