I want to you to know…

I want to tell her these next few days will be a blur.

I want her to know that she’ll get everything done that is required of a woman who will now check the box that says “widow” instead of “married.”  Her family will help her make the right choices, sign the right papers, plan the final details around a funeral that was supposed to happen much later, not now.  It’s not natural to bury a husband who was only 8 months in to his 60th year of life.

CANCER…the life changer.

The word ‘widow’ won’t mean much to you now, but you will feel different immediately.  I want you to know that odd feeling won’t go away any time soon.  You’ll be able to function in the world but your world is forever changed.

Read some of the books about grief.  Don’t listen to anyone who says you’ll be better in a year.  There is no time table on grief and getting back to ‘normal’ is a non-starter. The old normal ended on diagnosis day when you listened to the doctor tell the man you loved, “You have cancer.”

You will make your new normal with every waking day.

Take your time.  You have time now.  There will be OK days and some not OK.  Ease into this new life.

Above all, I want you to know, you will make it.




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