And there were birds…..
The phone call that began his journey will stay with me for a long time. He had been so happy just a few days before, because his doctor told him he was ‘cured.’ No more Hepatitis C. It was gone. After decades of fighting the misery of that disease, he had lived long enough and medicine had advanced far enough to take what proved to be a miracle drug.
Life would change. He had called his daughter and taken her out to lunch where they toasted to his new-found health. She told me today she never thought she would ever have a real drink with her Dad. It was a special lunch.
It was just a couple days later that he called to ask for help. He needed a colonoscopy and he needed it ‘now.’ The results would put him on a path of no return. From ‘cure’ to ‘cancer’ in what felt like a heartbeat.
Metastatic cancer would take him away from family and friends in just 8 months.
His funeral was yesterday: a gathering so large, you would have thought it was a holiday. Instead it was a remembrance so grand to honor this man’s life. There was open weeping, private thoughts, his grandchildren looking perplexed, wondering where their Papa Jay was and most of us thinking how wrong it was to think our friend wasn’t sitting among us. How could those delicately carved angels be cradling him inside that casket?
I watched as they lowered him into his final resting place this morning. The air was crisp. The sky was clear and blue and the Spring buds on the trees around his grave were getting ready to welcome the new season. But best of all there were the birds. At his home, Jay loved to watch the birds from his bedroom window. Five large feeders welcomed all varieties and he was in awe of their visits. He even had a special blanket that was covered in beautiful birds and it went everywhere with him. There wasn’t a hospital visit that didn’t include that blanket.
There were no birds on the feeders today. They knew where they were needed: their song softened our final goodbye.
April 4, 2016 @ 7:13 pm
I think of Jay often – such a special person! I also think of you. I sent another friend your contact information as her husband is living with cancer. Today was a good day – the numbers are going in the right direction. I explained what Leroy taught us – that she and her husband are “Living with Cancer”. I hope she finds your blog as it might provide her some comfort.
March 24, 2016 @ 2:31 pm
What a beautiful tribute to one of your many friends, Laurie. I am sure you were a real comfort to them during both happy and sad times.
March 21, 2016 @ 6:05 pm
Beautifully written, Laurie. I’m new to your blog so at first I wasn’t sure if you were writing about your husband or a friend. It seems that it’s a friend. Do I need to go back further to read more about your cancer journey with your husband?
Mully, thoughts and prayers coming your way.
Marlys
March 19, 2016 @ 12:35 pm
How wonderful the birds attended your friend’s funeral. May that be a memory that brings you and his family peace.
Mully, I will say a prayer for your husband. Blessings in the coming Holy Week.
March 19, 2016 @ 8:25 am
So sorry for the loss of your friend. How you can celebrate being free of one disease day then a few days later be in the fight off your life against another is beyond comprehension. Prayers and lots of lifting for you and your friend and their family.
My husband had a visit with his oncologist yesterday. We know his counts have been moving up but in the last 12 weeks his lymphocytes doubled and are at a critical level. So now I’m entering his chemotherapy dates on my calendar. His dr said his chemo is easily tolerated and it’s nothing like the chemo that I received. That made him feel much better (and was also a huge relief for our children). I definitely feel better knowing that he won’t have all the side effects and he only has to go in monthly, yet putting this on the calendar brings a lot of memories back. We’ll be at the same cancer center, updated and improved since my time in the chemo chair. Many of the same nurses are there. It’s a familiar place, but one I had hoped we would only be visiting quarterly for his checkups. The Dr feels she can get him to remission with this treatment. If need be, she has other options. So in about 3 weeks we will be starting. In the meantime there’s a lot of work to be done. The calendar was the first step. Typing this here has helped me to vent and get some clarity. Blessings and positive thoughts to everyone here.
March 19, 2016 @ 4:18 pm
Mully,
Sending positive thoughts to you and your husband. Sometimes being in familiar territory brings power and strength…stay in control.
Mo…it’s really good to hear from you..welcome back.
L