We try to be so strong…

Why is it we survivors, even after many years have passed, try to be so strong?  We think we can’t show the sorrow that is still tucked away in those deep folds of our heart.  We still have our moments when we get sad.  Sometimes those tears still bubble-up and we quickly blink them away, hoping the memory that brought them to the surface will disappear too.

The Holiday season reveals our weaker side for sure.  Memories of great celebrations that we miss dearly or sad recollections of how cancer tarnished the last holiday we spent together; it can be a hurting time.

And don’t think we don’t change our mood, because we do.  We act differently and our friends can see it.  I was with another cancer widow the other day and I could feel the stress in her actions and words.  When I brought it up to her, she said she thought I was the one who was ‘up-tight.’ We both admitted to feeling the weight of the Holidays.  So many reminders of a former life.

“If I think about them, I’ll be sad and I don’t want to be sad,” she said.

I get it.  If you don’t go there, it won’t win.  Be strong.

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7 Comments

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Comments

JoAnne Brown February 6, 2017 at 2:08 am

Thanks for sharing! You have a very nice blog.

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Anna December 28, 2016 at 4:54 am

Nice blog…

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Nan Holmes December 20, 2016 at 8:01 pm

Unfortunately, missing our loved ones seems to be more intense during the holidays, regardless of the reason they are no longer here.

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Judie December 20, 2016 at 8:04 am

Seems like we “should” give into to the sadness and have the tears if we need them. Personally, I find it to be somewhat of a stress release. Holding it in is hard and adds to my stress. Wishing everyone strength.

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Kathie Scott December 20, 2016 at 5:39 am

Still difficult after 7 years and the sudden tears still take me by surprise.

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Laurie Hirth December 19, 2016 at 6:12 pm

Such truth to those words… even 9 years later!

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Laurie Singer Sievers December 21, 2016 at 2:12 pm

And the other piece of this is, I bet we all think we’re the only ones feeling like this…obviously that isn’t the case. Another reason this community is so important.
L

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