Back and writing on a snowy day in March

Thanks for still being here….I know it seems like I just dropped off the planet, but I’m back and happy to be here.

It’s a cold, snowy day at my house. Mid-March and our first big snow storm of the winter, go figure!  And it came with all the elements too.  Rain last night then big snow then ice pellets hitting the window in the middle of the night and now some flurries.  I guess the winter gods decided to wrap up everything in one big system.

The storm began on an evening of remembrance for me.  It was a year ago that my friend Jay died from gall bladder cancer.  His was the worst of what cancer is all about.  A diagnosis last July and death the following March.  It was 8 months of a hellish battle with little relief from a painful struggle to live.  There are some cancers that are so brutal.  Jay was strong and brave and was a true warrior.

Jay’s family has had  a year to process his loss and it hasn’t been easy.  But there’s a message here for all of us: There really isn’t a time frame on grieving.

It’s been almost 9 years since I lost Leroy to cancer and I still grieve.

I want anyone out there who has lost a loved one to cancer to understand they must let the grieving pass through you as the days, months and years go by…the face of grief will change over time but if you believe for one minute that the one year mark clears the slate, the adjustment to your new life will never be complete. The old you is gone forever.  The new you needs time to emerge and develop.

Let the healing begin.  Allow the healing to go on forever.

It’s good to be back.


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