Till death do us part..

Till death do us part…

How do those words fit into real life?  How do they fit into cancer world? If you uttered those exact words, and lost the one you swore to be the love of your life, is there another one out there for you?

It’s like precision medicine these days.  Each person’s illness is unique; so their meds and treatment need to be suited to them.  It’s personal.  It’s individualized medicine and it’s much more effective than the old way when it was one plan for everyone.

So I guess we all have to decide for ourselves, what works best now that our world has been turned from two to one.  We have to decide how long it should be before we even open up our hearts and allow another person a peek inside.

It probably depends on how involved we were in the care of the one we lost.  It depends on what the relationship was before the diagnosis. And it depends on how we handle being a one instead of a two.  Is one half of the closet empty now, or does that dress or shirt still bring back special memories?

Till death do us part…..




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Heather Erickson May 25, 2017 at 9:59 pm

I was recently criticized by a reader because he didn’t think I had a right to write about living with cancer since I’ve never had it. When I told this to my husband, a five year survivor of stage IV lung cancer, he couldn’t believe it. And it comes down to what you wrote.

My husband and I have been together 24/7 since we married. We work together, travel together, and spend all of our free time together. I’ve gone to every appointment. When he talks about his cancer and treatment the pronouns are always, “we” and “our.” Our scan, our treatment, our cancer.

To someone outside the situation, it must sound strange. Some people might think it’s not healthy. For us, it’s a natural extension of “and the two shall become one.”

We are so close that I often wonder how I will continue to draw breath when he dies. I’ve always appreciated your blog because you seem to be the kind of person who can understand this feeling. Thank you for your writing.

Heather Erickson


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