“Pieces” of Cancer

As bad as cancer is, and it is bad, there are ‘pieces’ of it that bring people together.  I mean really bring people together, years after the worst of cancer has happened.

In my experience, I watched Leroy’s circle of friends grow and surround him with love and kindness and caring.  I watched his pals lift him up with so much love it would leave me in tears. And he cared for them so much that at the end of his life, he couldn’t say good-bye.  It was just too painful for him to face a farewell to the group.  We talked about it many times, but he wanted to remember them in the ‘present,’ with “Hello’s” and not “Good-bye’s.”

So fast forward almost 9 years now, and having just gone through his birthday and our anniversary, you can imagine my memory bank is overflowing at the moment.  It’s been an emotional few days and it is exhausting to go through it. But the best part is, I haven’t gone through it alone.  Those great friends have lifted me up too.  All these years later, so many kind words, emails, pictures, events, all played out over the last few days in celebration of Leroy’s life.  He had a VERY good birthday and we had a VERY nice anniversary!

These are the ‘pieces of cancer’ I’m talking about; the friends who stick with you, year after year.  The friends who ‘get-it’ and realize you never stop remembering and you will always miss your person.

On one hand, being the care-giver and the one tasked to find a way to reinvent your life after cancer ends your dreams, is something you have to figure out on your own…period.  But, one the other hand, you have those ‘pieces’ to lean on, to rely on when you’re feeling a little weak in the knees.

I doubt cancer even knows it creates this support team because it’s so busy trying to destroy a perfectly good life.  But I’m here to tell you, something very positive comes from something so awful.  I couldn’t imagine life without those ‘pieces.’

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }


Stefani July 21, 2017 at 1:21 am

I’m glad that there are friends who maintain the friendship despite the fact that your friend is a cancer patient or non-cancer patient.In my case all the people who were with me lost the contact gradually when I discovered myself as a cancer patient.Only my family was with me until the end.The reason why I live today is my parents.They continued my cancer treatments even though I wanted to stop them.It’s nice to have friends around you to give you motivation but I was unfortunate to receive it.Thanks for the cancer treatments and whoever got involved in my treatments.


cathi simmons June 20, 2017 at 5:37 pm

Today’s message comes from such a deep place it feels like my own voice speaking. Cancer has made core changes in me “where the meanings are”…(Emily Dickinson). Today I see a ray of light in this new-found world, one that I’m determined to follow. Thanks.


Kathie Scott June 20, 2017 at 4:13 pm

I know it’s been a rough patch for you but glad your friends were there for you.


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