She feels fine.  She’s back at the gym.  She’s a spinning fanatic and she’s back lifting light weights to regain the muscle tone she lost while she was in treatment.  Chemotherapy and radiation interrupt the normal pace of life and this cancer patient tried very hard to keep-up her gym routine, but there were days her treatment over ruled her plans.

All of those drugs and ‘rads’ are behind her now.  She’s back at the pool swimming her laps and for the most part, feeling pretty good.  I noticed yesterday, she wasn’t quite herself.  When I asked if everything was “OK” she nodded yes but I still wasn’t sold.  Then today when she said she wouldn’t be there to swim tomorrow it dawned on me, it’s check-up day.

Tomorrow is check-up day.  But for the last few days, the anticipation of check-up day has been weighing heavily on her mind.

The “what-if” they find something thoughts begin to build long before the car pulls into the parking lot.  So much anticipation of bad news once you become a cancer patient is a part of belonging to cancer world.  The words “You’ve got cancer” comes with a life long membership to that anxiety.

Check-up days are so important, but they are so stress filled.  Hopefully, it will be just another day and then it’s back in the pool….moving on, one lap at a time.

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