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“I’m back”

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“I’m back”…let me tell you why these two little words mean so much. We’ve walked the canal together for many years. Our footsteps have pounded dirt up and down the C & O Canal between Great Falls, on the Maryland side and the new and improved Marsden Bridge.  It’s been our turnaround land mark for(…)

The care giver is in need of the care…

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I had a lucky day.  I met a warrior way to young to be in this fight. The 13-year old is new to cancer world.  She has already faced brain surgery and is now beginning her radiation treatments.  She brings her best attitude to the radiation oncology unit.  If she’s afraid, she won’t let her cancer see(…)

Once a cancer patient….

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It’s been a busy year of friends going through the stages of cancer.  It seems way too many women I know have come face-to-face with breast cancer.  My thinking is it’s because they are ‘Boomers’ and that age group is the sweet spot for certain cancers in people of a certain age.  I hate it(…)

Can you prepare for loss?

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Can you really prepare for loss?  Is there a way to build a wall around your heart, knowing that metastatic cancer is likely to end in the death of your loved one?  Is there some way to stop it from being one of the most painful experiences in your life? Leroy’s cancer did not move(…)

The long days of cancer..

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There was a line at the elevators this morning at the cancer center. It seemed we all parked, at the same time and we all met at the elevators, at the same time. There were the patients with their masks on, dressed in jeans and Baltimore team jerseys.  Clearly they came comfortable, knowing that the morning would(…)

So many tears..

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She was leaning-in on him and weeping. All he could do was put his arms around her and let her cry. Every few minutes he would whisper something in her ear. Whatever he said,  had enough power to give her the strength to look up, into his eyes, but that magnetic pull lasted only a few(…)

The best team member, ever…

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Any one who has traveled down the ‘cancer path’ knows first hand, you can not do this alone. From day one, it takes the support of so many members of the ‘TEAM” to get through the struggle.  On the good days when you want to share some positive news, you reach out to be lifted(…)

A basket full of memories..

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It’s always the same.  This weekend of Easter Parades and Easter Bunnies and Easter Eggs.  The memories are vivid.  The basket is full of See’s Easter chocolates.  The truffle eggs are nestled in the cellophane grass. It was such a tradition and never a surprise after so many years, but Leroy would still act surprised(…)

White coats hide broken hearts….

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The door to the exam room opens and in walks your nurse to sit with you and go over some questions that will prepare the doctor for your exam.  “How have you been feeling?”  “Any side effects to the treatment?”  “Stomach pains, headaches, fevers?”  All questions you’ve come to know and anticipate.  Your nurse takes(…)

Who cooks anymore?

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Conversations with other widows (still a term I have trouble saying or writing) always leads me to long talks with myself.  I know that sounds odd, but last night I got into a conversation with a woman who talked about her life with her husband and her life without him…now. She said she’s so different(…)